Comfortably foreign: Thoughts on the Anglosphere with focus on Anglo-American relations

Before it sails over anyone’s head let me just point out that the title is a play on words based on the name of a Pink Floyd song.

Now down to the nitty gritty of it all. The English speaking nations of the world (and I mean the proper ones, UK, US, Canada, Australia and NZ, possibly South Africa too. NOT INDIA) have, in my opinion, a very odd relationship. I would not be the first to draw this comparison. Scores of people that study English literature will learn of Oscar Wilde and Robert Louis Stevenson’s experiences in dealing with people and customs from different sides of the Atlantic. Oscar even summed up the ‘special relationship’ best with his quote that the US and UK were “divided by a common language.” Now this is something that has been a cause of much bafflement to me for a very very long time. It just doesn’t add up in my book. The primary reason for this is perhaps down to my own life; until recently I felt a strong kinship with Indians (and in some senses one could argue I still do) and this has been hugely influenced by my ability to speak their language. I, for many years, felt more at home in India than other cousins raised outside the motherland because of this. From this I always felt that culture and by some extension kinship was inexplicably linked to language. After all if I can express my thoughts and feelings in a coherent manner in someone’s language, a bond is formed, isn’t it?

And yet somehow Brits and Americans, whilst having admiration for one another, do feel they are different sides of the coin at the very least and as such see each other as foreign. My American relatives argue time and distance count for something. Whilst that may be so it can not fully explain the barriers that exist, because this is not the case everywhere. I will of course dip back into Hindi because, after all, that is a language I know well. Through colonisation etc various Indian diasporas have come into existence, two famous examples being Fiji and Surinam. In both nations there have been at least 5 or 6 generations of separation with India, and as such the Bihari dialect of Hindi, Bhojpuri, has been spoken amongst these communities and changed a little. And yet it is still intelligible for a speaker of a more mainstream more Indian form of Hindi. What’s more the nuances are accepted for what they are, nuances, and then the bonds form. They still feel a part of India, or at the very least that Indian culture is not something separate and distinct from them. Heck, even the Guyanese, who now speak English, still feel India is the motherland!

This led me to think that perhaps it’s a European thing. The reason I say this is because there is a significant difference between European and Brazilian Portuguese, not enough for them not to be mutually comprehendible but enough for my language partner from Rio to realise I’d been learning what they speak in Portugal and informing me what words were used in South America instead. That said from speaking to him it appeared that when he got over this hurdle with the Europeans they just chat and don’t make a (massive) deal out of it. It’s only natural to talk about differences, but I could easily talk about the differences between Scotland and England with someone, couldn’t I?

There just has to be a British element. Or at the very least a north-western Europe element because the French are well known for mocking the ‘ridiculousness’ of the way the ‘colonies’ speak their language. I’d argue that maybe (just maybe) the Francosphere are more divided than we Anglos are.

But wait they have that ‘Francophonie council’ (google it if you don’t believe me) where they meet up and, regardless of what they officially say, fight the onslaught of English in the international arena. I can’t think of anything like that for English, well at the very least it’s not as prominent, and in any case there isn’t much of a need for it, is there?

So wait, is this a British thing? And before any Americans get up in arms, that is the correct adjective because, whatever happens English came from England. And YOU CAME FROM ENGLAND. And if you disagree with that I explained this above. Have a read again about 'Why we're all British' if you haven't.

The ‘British’ argument is one that I’ve leaned towards for a long time since there is an ‘us against the world’ mentality in these isles coupled with a sense of righteous snobbery from having shaped so much of the world in the image it is in today. And the Americans have definitely got this too. I’ve lost count of the number of Americans who feel that their government is a ‘do-good’ police force for the world and that they really are bringing ‘democracy’ to world, only the world isn’t too grateful. Argue the political ramifications elsewhere, this is most definitely in the psyche of many Americans, much as Victorian England thought that they were doing a great service to the world with all its ‘expansions.’ If you’re anti-war you may argue about how your nation is a ‘great beacon of civilisation’ and how the world can learn much from following your examples. That, again, was something the Victorians thought when they pushed through all the labour reforms and cleaned up the Thames with the largest sewage system then known to man. I see a lot of similarities in mindset even if many Americans feel that England is some weird foreign country that couldn’t be more different. I’m sorry I still don’t buy it, why are Brits and Americans so adamant about considering each other different?

Well, the best answer I can come up with is that it’s comforting. We’re familiar to the Americans and they’re familiar to us. In this mad crazy world where national identities are often blurred and manipulated and changed Britain (or the US) is a wall to lean on and give and take culture from, and then pretend as though it never happened. It’s better than having a rapport with say, the French or Russians, with their weird languages and bizarre rituals, call the English foreign because they speak our language so we can talk the night away about how different we are when secretly, deep down, we know we have more in common than we may admit to. One thing I found particularly weird when I travelled to the New World (I love calling it that and sounding like some big shot explorer!) is that I felt far more at home in the US than I did Canada. That was down to one thing; a cynical attitude. As strange as it may sound, the cheerful attitude of Canadians, whilst lovely (and I’m not knocking it I swear) did create some distance. Weird. Not enough for me to think of them as foreign before anyone points the finger, but the distance was there. Just like there is a bit of distance between me and many people from London proper, but it’s not huge.

So enjoy thinking of Brits as totally different, Americans. I know it’s not true. I know our secret…

Regards,

The Vedic Underdog

My freedom hurts me (or, the terrible price we pay for free speech)

I haven’t written on here in ages not so much because of laziness (though no doubt that has been a factor) but because I’ve been battling health issues. I still am, but I’m powering through because my restless mind keeps coming with mental vomit that I need to release.

OK, that may sound disgusting but that said there are many things that have disgusted me in recent times and so I shall try and vocalise them clearly. But that got your attention didn’t?

Don’t lie!

Now on to what this post is really about. The diamond jubilee occurred about 2 weeks ago in this country, sprouting mixed feelings. The traditional nationalists have been all over it and then there have been those that have a good old dollop of British cynicism about the whole thing. The monarchist - republicanist debate has been going on for a long time and I shan’t go into it here beyond saying that I find both sides have valid arguments. But there is one façade amongst the republicans that does not sit well with me.

It all started a few days before the actual jubilee bank holiday was upon us and someone decided to post up a meme. The meme had a picture of the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh laughing, over which someone had ‘wittingly’ written ‘Haha, you’re poor.’ I found it a little stupid and offensive.

Not so much because they were mocking the royals (more on that later) but because of their insinuation; that the people who made it and those that share it ARE poor, and that they’re living it up and we have nothing. I’m not buying that! You’re sitting at a comfy desk sending it via your laptop or smartphone, you have plenty of food and free medical care. Yes, things are tight but news flash: YOU’RE NOT POOR! YOU’RE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING POOR! And you can argue about how the upper 1% controls everything and death to capitalism blah blah blah (though when explained coherently I don’t have a problem) but when you’re a bit jealous that they have a big estate but you aren’t going hungry every night I find it hard to believe you. How about trying to help the actual poor rather than taking a pop at people that you’ll never meet and have very little influence on your daily lives??

Next time you’re trying to make a ‘social point’ on facebook or anything else (which for the most part seems like trying to earn brownie points or a badge of honour in front of your friends, looking like you actually give a damn about someone else just by sharing a stupidly made picture on a social network), how about going for something a bit more hard hitting, or at the very least with a little more fact behind it? I find it all rather ridiculous.

Now on to something similar: mocking the royals. This increased a lot in the weeks and days leading up to the jubilee, with Brits and people pretending to be ‘liberal’, ‘revolutionist’ and ‘hip’ getting involved. One friend even posted up an infamous Sex Pistols song. I don’t need to tell you which one. Some of it had a point about how they control land and questioning how much political power the royals actually have, and I have no problem with that.

Sadly not all of it actually had a point. Some of it was rather like the example I discussed above, poking fun at something without actually thinking for a second about its monumental stupidity. From people who are older than me and in most cases should know better before you play the ‘idiots on the web’ card. When you’re making fun of their accents, appearance and what they should and shouldn’t do you’ve gone too far. At some stage you’re just mocking an innocent family or innocent individuals with their flaws as much as the next person. I’m reminded now of a particular joke the comedian Frankie Boyle did that was lauded by ‘liberals’ (and I dispute that tag enormously) as being satirical, hard hitting and modern. IT WAS NONE OF THESE THINGS! It was nothing more than a comedian pretending to have the balls to talk about anything basically trying to get a laugh out of the ageing process. Give yourselves a pat on the back if you thought it was satire. You couldn’t have been further from the truth.

For those of you saying he was exercising his freedom of speech, you’re right he was. But guess what so am I by criticising it. If you don’t like it, go somewhere else. At least I gave reasons!

I just find that people take shots at the royals because, in the words of correspondent Jenny Bond, they’re such an easy target who will never fight back or say anything in retaliation. Congratulations, you’re all big hard hitting satirists, picking on such a soft scapegoat!

It is far too easy to look cool by mocking the Queen, and I for one am tired of it.

In short, if you have something valid to say about whether the royal family should stay or not, I’m ready to listen. If you’re just going to make fun of them, go away. You’re worse than useless because it means absolutely nothing. Now go get something to eat from your fridge and think about how ‘poor’ you really are.

Regards,

The Vedic Underdog

The most painful break-up part 2

Part 2 of the break-up and I’m focussing attentions a little closer to home. It could be argued that the reason I don’t get on with Indians that well is because they didn’t have the same experience as me growing up. Say that is true, wouldn’t that mean that other British Indians, who’ve been through similar stuff to you will be the ones you get along with best surely?

I’m afraid not.

It appears I don’t fit in with British Indians either. And why is that? It’s really not that clear to me to be honest but I’ll do my best to explain it to the best of my knowledge. What it appears to me is that, whilst BritIndians are more open to interact with the general population than other ethnic groups (and that includes a lot of white people, Nick Griffin), they often end up in one of two categories. In either case there is a lot of Indian egotism combined with a type of social autism that is most definitely British.

There are those BritIndians that hang out with other BritIndians and develop their own identity as such. They’ll all listen to that god-awful Asian fusion music (and my sister blog 'the musical idiot' will rip that to shreds soon enough, don’t you worry! ;) ) and spend their time discussing outfits and behaviours like old gossiping ladies as you do when you have a degree and didn’t grow up in poverty. Let’s call them aunties because that’s what they are essentially with the gossip, albeit ‘trendy’ because they listen to the audio guff that the youth do. These people often constitute a large proportion (but not quite all) of a Hindu society.

Yes, I’m about to burn that bridge too. I’m feeling extra friendly tonight.

In I walk in with my unconventional hair style, which isn’t the gelled up spikes look which is ubiquitous now or a pathetic side parting and instantly we’re off to a bad start. You’ll be amazed at how quickly that will make it into discussion even when something not even remotely about hair was being talked about. I wouldn’t care if it didn’t happen 9 times out of 10! Assuming we get over that hurdle they ask me my interests. Rock music? You’re a coconut (heavily Anglicised Brit) right? Oh you read the Gita? No, I don’t read that. I was too busy watch the latest generic Bollywood movie because that’s what Indians do, don’t they? How can you not watch them? Something wrong with you? I have also been described as being ‘too Hindu by many of these people for wanting to take an interest in my religion and culture, something which has been a term of endearment for my more international friends even though we don’t share much theologically. One particularly vindictive member of this group set to poison the minds of my friends against me for this ‘crime.’ Thankfully it didn’t work for the most part and I found out from one of my friends that he was doing this and it caused me a great deal of disappointment. He did end up souring a few relationships, and if you understood the bleak loneliness that causes you’d understand this is not mere finger pointing and gossip

Sigh. I don’t know why I bother. Now let’s say we’re at something a little less…normal. A Hindu society event. You being pious and having some theological knowledge should help shouldn’t it?

Unfortunately not.

What happens at these events is the most depressing thing of all. Whilst on the one han d these people make me glad in what they do - we have charity workers, Kathak dancers and playwrights within our ranks – they are as much in a cleek as their more boring counterparts and perhaps I was not at the party where everyone was invited to join the cleek because I’m not a part of it. I start going round and schmoozing as I would do with others that are Indian and get the friendly Pam Am air hostess response. For a moment, I’m the most important person in the world to this member of the Hindu society; they are eager to know my name, what I’m doing, why I joined and what I want to bring to the table. We will chat for literally seconds and they will pretend to be impressed by my accomplishments and I will genuinely give a proverbial thumbs up back to theirs but as soon as one of their little friends arrives I may as well not exist. I can understand wanting to give someone you know better more of your time but to just walk away? When I want to do something for the samaj (community)? What’s going on there? Sometimes it does feel like someone genuinely wants to talk to you and hear what you have to say but then someone higher up ushers them away as to say ‘you don’t belong with them’ and suddenly I’m the perpetual outcast again. I hear speeches all the time about how these people become your closest friends, and your family and there have even been marriages out of this. I’ve yet to feel this warm welcome. I have been the bystander whilst everyone else has been having fun. I watch as two people who have just met start telling each other jokes that are barely funny but have each other in peals of laughter because of their new found camaraderie. OK, I’ll be over here staring at the floor while you form a new bond with everyone else, OK? Grand…

There are many people out there who share a passion for their spiritual persuasion in the same manner that I do that have been shunned by this pseudo-friendly manner of doing things. I even brought it up once to a member of the society. He agreed that this was the case, that there’s a social order that you are either in or out of, but he also promptly shrugged his shoulders. Is that it for those of us who don’t quite fit your mould? Cheers!

Then there’s another group of people. The coconuts. They shun anything even remotely of their ethnicity and are for most intents and purposes white people. Yet they hang out with other coconuts. Something weird here, don’t you think? Indian egotism and clinginess at play again. They are always looking to ‘out-white’ each other, having more ridiculous and generic British accents, more debauchery than who they emulate (as hard as that is to believe) and are ever more looking to outdo each other in terms of immorality. Maybe it’s some new drug, maybe it’s who they can sleep with, it never quite seems to end. I look conservative in their eyes, an old dinosaur who is a party pooper cos I don’t want to get involved in their stupid games. And yet a great deal of head scratching goes on when they see that I actually have white friends, despite being no-so-white. The mind boggles.

So there you have it, reasons why I’m not British Indian in the conventional sense. I wish it wouldn’t matter but try existing just outside a society and you’ll know what I mean. As ever, my relatives expect me to get married at some stage. Will that happen?

शमा कीजिये नानाजी, आपका हर सपना पूरा नहीं कर पाउँगा…

Regards

The Vedic Underdog

The most painful break-up part 1

My national identity is something I have covered before but recent events have seen a slight change in my perception of it.

And by that I mean I’m even more confused than I was before. But before that the most painful break up anyone can ever have, more than you can in a romantic sense.

I have broken up with India. Yes, it hurts to even write those words, and believe me I can hardly believe I’ve written them on this screen, they seem branded into it now, something which shouldn’t really be there. But it is unfortunately how things are. And when I say I broke up with India, it also means that relations with most British Indians have also been soured. This is something that has been boiling up since the end of last year but it really has come to a head in recent times. I shall endeavour to explain.

One should not stereotype a whole nation when one can avoid it but it is hard for me to do anything to the contrary when one meets nothing but people of a certain sort. And Indians seem to come in one single flavour; arrogant show offs that only wish to show you up so that they can look superior. I shall describe but a small number of anecdotes, or should I say evidence, to support this. So I shall begin with an incident that took place with a retired soldier. That’s right, a PROUD, PATRIOTIC INDIAN who would put his life on the line for the nation but could not let his ego subside for even a second.

The incident in question was quite straightforward really. He introduced himself (in English grrr) and offered his hand forth in greeting. Me being the traditionalist placed my palms together in the conventional ‘Namaste’ as it felt more appropriate to me (and I suppose I wanted to impress a little, but we’re talking small potatoes here!). At this stage the gentleman thought it appropriate to say that handshaking was the more internationally accepted manner of greeting. Yes but Namaste is sweeter, more personal and more hygienic I said back. At this stage he proceeded to tell me some bull about how hand shaking was a gesture that proved to the other person that your hand is clean and available to shake because of it. Look it up if you don’t believe me but I know for a fact that hand shaking is an indication that there is no weapon in that hand, it is a friendly gesture. But this guy wasn’t having any of it. Fantabulous. Later on he said dinner was ready and so we should go to the dining room and so we should leave. In my British humour style I dared to utter the words ‘get out’ as part of a longer sentence, one that was not vulgar. But of course idiot-brained Indians can’t see it that way, I was demeaning them, wasn’t I? In fact at the time I had no idea why one of the people I had been talking to decided to say to me ‘I was taken aback by the way you were speaking to me.’ I apologised profusely despite not being fully sure about what I’d done wrong at the time. Later on my mother told me about how it was the height of rudeness to say those words together in Indian society, and that it would appear that the person that took offence. Poor English wins again (see ‘The English disease of Indians’ for more hilarious stories like this). If you’re offended by that, then take a look at this, it sums up what I think of your arrogance (contains colourful language):

http://kingmediocre.deviantart.com/#/d4vxbr9 :)

Some of you may also be aware about how India is the most vegetarian country on the planet. No other country even comes close. Yet within her borders you hear the stupidest and most insecure arguments EVER against vegetarianism. Stuff you would expect more brain-dead people in other countries to say where it isn’t the norm. If you’re vegetarian for health reasons, they leave you alone. But I dared to argue from a moral and ecological point of view, that killing animals is bad and that the environment suffers for it. And when I say that what do I get to hear? ‘But you’re upsetting the food chain!’

You’re sat in a marble house, eating sweets that were made in an electric oven and I came to this country in a giant metal bird that weighs more than several elephants. What the hell is natural here? And the environmental argument is juxtaposed by the magical health benefits of meat that boil down to one person feeling slightly better after going back on the butter chicken (psychosomatic maybe?) and ergo nuts to how it exhausts the planet. My personal favourite response has to be a relative of mine, who despite having heard all the arguments against meat eating and knowing them back to front living in a house of staunch vegetarians says nothing more than ‘मै बचपन से खाके आया हूँ!’ (I’ve been eating it since childhood!) as though it makes it all OK. Indians, it appears, always want to have the moral high ground over you. Even if they’re killing babies with hammers and you aren’t, they’re undertaking some greater good that you haven’t thought of. For that reason, you’re the monster!

It also underlines a conservative attitude that almost everyone has in India, regardless of age, that they will not budge on. It’s amazing that such a level of insecurity and such a large insecurity complex exists within the nation. I am from a proud Hindu family, such that my father and uncles will say to an Indian Christian ‘why don’t you become a Hindu, your ancestors were!’ To which the Christian will invariably reply with how it was his father’s religion, and his father before him etc. I would imagine that if I was an Indian Christian I would most probably remain so for the same reason. Who cares about personal growth though, right?

Not to mention Indian weddings. I thoroughly and whole-heartedly despise them. They are nothing more than extravagant expressions of wealth for the parents of the two kids getting married. It’s amazing how Indians save their money throughout their lives to blow it all on one event. It makes no financial sense in the slightest. I remember a story in a British newspaper of a wealthy Indian-Belgian businessman that had thrown the world’s most expensive wedding. And can you believe it my relatives were proud! Forget the scientists combating polio every day, forget the Indian author winning the Booker prize, this gets everyone riled up! And I have lost count the number of hours of my life I have frittered away hearing Indians of all ages describing in painstaking detail the intricacies of it all. I felt like shouting out ‘I DON’T CARE HOW MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF MALT LIQUOR THEY HAD AT ALL!’ but I resisted that urge. Another reason I hate them is because I’ve heard tales of great mental abuse one family will give another if everything isn’t right. Why wasn’t there non-veg (meat) in the reception? The alcohol selection is beneath our dignity! Yes, this is actual dialogue from an actual conversation, albeit translated for your convenience.

Is this what has become of the land of the famous Indus valley, pioneers of surgery, poetry linguistics…I could go on? Whilst every Indian could probably recite to you some amazing facts about our ancestors it never ceases to astound me to think that this country has produced so many writers, scientists and activists when everyone carries on this way. Hinduism is a miracle simply for the fact that an Indian came up with something so radical. And me with my weird, more open minded look on things, not to mention the audacity to be a boy with long hair (oh my god, what’s wrong with you, don’t you want to look good? I get told) means I don’t fit in.

Fine, I’m not Indian then. Got no idea what I am but I’m not Indian clearly. I’m not British Indian by most respects but see part 2 for that. Yes I haven’t even started on you guys yet!

By Indian society I am close to marriageable age now. But with such a grim selection and a hairstyle and a personality that is not shallow and egotistical in the Indian way am I going to find a bride?

शमा कीजिये नानाजी, आपका हर सपना पूरा नहीं कर पाउँगा…

I’ve got the Kaliyug blues badly it seems, summed up in song by Digital Hippy here: http://soundcloud.com/digital-hippy/kaliyug-blues

Regards,

The Vedic Underdog

Are India and Italy the same country? (Or, who really runs the world?)

Here’s an entry I’ve been meaning to do for some time but have only just got round to. I’m going back to commenting on Indian society. Now the title may lead you to think that this is going to be yet another damning article against Sonia Gandhi/Maino/whatever her name is, but it really isn’t. You don’t need me to tell you she’s Italian. But that is largely irrelevant to the point I want to make.

I’m looking to compare two countries, and one person can hardly be a valid cause for such a comparison. India and Italy have many things in common, and this is a short list only. For instance both can claim broad and internationally well loved cuisines, a wealth of flavours and a real commitment to food preparation. The Italians, particularly in the south, will spend a very long time making meals and nothing will get in the way of that. It is of paramount importance to them that the appropriate amount of time and care is taken in making each meal so that it is always a winner of a dish (or dishes J ). Similarly in India nothing can be construed as a meal unless it has been cooked and has used more than 3 or 4 fresh ingredients. I remember an aunt of mine who lives there saying that, because of the way we eat in the West (i.e. cereal for breakfast, sandwich for lunch then a cooked dinner in the evening) we only eat once a day. And she has a point, can it really be a meal if some effort hasn’t been put into it?

Second both countries have a strong familial ethic. Families are important, and rightly so. We can argue till the cows come home about dysfunction but fact remains a family unit is, on average and on the whole, more likely to lead to development of more rounded and less damaged individuals. Having such an ethic usually extends to friends as well; both are friendly people that would do far more to help out a friend than I’ve seen in any number of other countries. It’s almost as though both the Indians and Italians took an extra swig from the cup of the milk of human kindness!

This leads me to my next point, the strong religious identity. In both nations there are strong female images of a powerful matriarch that deserves respect , giving an environment for respect for both women and elders. In the case of Italy this takes the form of Madonna, aka the Virgin Mary and in India there are a number of them such as Lakshmi, Parvati and Shakti.

Which unfortunately leads me to the more negative aspects of both countries; hypocritical undertones.

Because, whilst both countries parade these strong female icons, in practice the average female is treated in a very different manner, one that could be deemed as second class in comparison to that of males. In the case of Italy, it is a case of a female’s appearance being a very strong indication of their success in work and elsewhere (more so than other European nations). If that wasn’t enough, it is quite normal for a man to have an affair (not so much with the younger generation but it is still alive and well nonetheless) and he is considered this immensely virile hero, but the woman in the affair is thought of in a far less flattering light, to put it lightly. Also you don’t need me to tell you all about Berlusconi and his, shall we say dealings, with women.

In India, one could argue it’s a bit more sinister. Female infanticide is, as ever, the elephant in the room that no one wishes to talk about but it is a big issue regardless. Look at the sex ratio of the average Indian orphanage, it will tell you all you need to know. This of course stems from the lack of value of a girl within society, and her value decreases the more rural you go. Whilst in the big cosmopolitan centres this is starting to be addressed a lot more needs to be done. Despite this Delhi has somehow reached a legendary status within the country of how unsafe it is for women. So that’s one aspect they have in common. That’s right, this is just the beginning!

Another, slightly more well known aspect of both countries is the level of corruption, which is bordering on the endemic. This is a little more surprising in Italy, being an EU member and all but that doesn’t change the fact that it exists. And corruption is a way of life in India. There are very few things that can be done without some form of ‘persuasion’. I suppose it is more of an issue in the latter but there are countless examples of investigations that were incredibly lax in order to save someones face: Italian example: checking out the safety of the track at Imola after Ayrton Senna’s crash, Indian example: the long-winded case involving the Bofors scam. Not to mention the odd dealings at the top. With Italy it is clear; it is not possible to spend a day in Italy without lining the pockets of Berlusconi. In India, it is not so clear, but politicians have far too much clout with the media and interfere with government issues far too much. If you were to go on Wikipedia to look through the list of known government scams that have occurred in the last 50 years, the list alone would take a while to read.

Both countries have spent of lot of time being subjugated by outsiders and tried hard to maintain an identity. As a result both nations have very conservative outlooks and are not so keen on cultures/practices/most things from the outside. Anything construed as foreign is viewed with a great deal of suspicion. This primarily manifests itself in adopting new styles of management and law making, because eating different food and listening to exotic music is a poor indicator of that in my opinion. What it means is that change is unlikely to come easy as everyone is set in their ways. And so dodgy geezers at all levels are going to be hard to dislodge, because they’ve become traditions essentially.

Oh, and I suppose you could argue that both countries are run by an Italian. There. That’s the only other time I’m going to mention that…

So my brief guide into why India and Italy are the same country. I’ve tried to keep it positive – heavy, but it has to be said that there are a lot of unnverving aspects that can’t be ignored.

Regards,

The Vedic Underdog

Loving Thailand vs Loving Thailand

Recently I stumbled across a documentary about a Thai matrimonial agency that looked to pair up Thai girls with foreign (read Western) men. As you can imagine it’s down to money.

I remember seeing a similar documentary when I was a child and being absolutely disgusted by these vile overweight old men lusting after young pretty Thai girls. Though this is quite well known, isn’t it? I don’t’ need to go into the details about how horrible this is, I’m sure you’re aware of it.

I will point out though in the documentary I saw recently the matrimonial agency, when describing the merits of Thai women mentioned that they ‘don’t have the hang ups of equality driven Western women’ and ‘never get a headache.’ I mentally threw up reading that one.

Now you may say that the old men are doing these girls a favour by marrying them and taking them out of poverty and hardship, but my recent epiphany indicates a fallacy in this: if money is the issue how about helping them to work their way out of poverty????? Fund their education, build offices, buy their products if they work in a factory (if you’re stingy). That would show your real affection for Thai women, and it would come from the head and not your…well you can imagine what word goes there.

Someday I may just start up a charity to do so (but I need to find out how much school and university costs in Thailand). A big middle finger to all these vile perverts who wouldn’t stand a chance with these women if the playing field was more level. I could go on about my feelings towards these disgusting individuals but that would be counterproductive. Let’s just say if anyone tried it in my family, they would be treated in the manner fitting their vile superficiality and using the downstairs brain.

UPDATE: As I was writing this article I Googled any groups that are doing anything like the charity I want to set up, but several thai bride websites came up (annoyed grunt). However there is hope: I found a well known NGO called Development and Education Programme for Daughters and Communities (DEPDC), their website is:

http://www.depdc.org/index.htm

They’re looking to stop child prostitution, which is highly important, but is not quite what I want to fund. I suppose that people would gravitate towards this option if they were interested in bettering themselves rather than wealth but I will think about my foundation nonetheless just in case there are young women out there who feel that they have no option other than to partake in this ‘sanctimonious’ prostitution.

Regards,

The Vedic Underdog

Choosing between hate and hate (Or, how every choice is wrong)

To a topic that never seems to get old: Indian politics. That is what I shall try to focus on here but I want to talk about how this affects Hindu identity globally. OK, on with it.

Now, in India there is a two party system as there is in most countries. One could however argue that there is a bit more choice compared to other countries as the two biggest parties, the Congress and the BJP, often form coalitions with smaller, more locally focused parties. But either way on a national scale that leads to there being two parties, with different thoughts and agendas.

The congress has traditionally been seen as a liberal and left wing party, and has in more recent times formed coalitions with communist parties, which fits in right with their agenda. The BJP is the more conservative, and has often had strong links with Hindu nationalist parties. So that’s how it is right now.

And also as in many countries people and families often identify with one of the two and stick with them throughout their lives. Generally if you’re not Hindu or Sikh, or you work in one of the ‘new’ Indian industries such as IT you go for the Congress. Otherwise a lot of ‘middle-India’ as I so affectionately call them go for the BJP, and they both have their reasons. Congress supporters will argue that the party is investing heavily in new technologies and will point to all the grand building works that have been conducted in the big cities to make them look more glitzy and modern as well as saying that they are a secular party because they don’t associate with Hindu nationalists. A number of minority Indians such as Christians have said that they feel the BJP is ‘racist’ (I put that down to not fully understanding the meaning of the word but I know what they mean) and so they vote for the Congress.

On the other side the BJP supporters argue that all our progress has been for show. Those building works are just to show off to the foreigners that India is going places and does not show the true story of all the problems going on in the heart of India, what with farmer suicides and resource mining destroying communities. There has been insinuation that the Congress will do anything for the minority vote banks and are powerfully un-Hindu. An example they would site is the managing of Hindu temples, where a good portion of the money earned by a temple (primarily through donations) is taken by the government and then being used to fund mosques and churches. And let’s not even get started on the Hajj subsidy…

I didn’t want to get too bogged down in the details and issues here because it will detract from the point. But I hope that paints the picture for those that aren’t so familiar. If you want to know more you really should pull your finger out and look some things up, I could not possibly condense the governmental issues of the worlds largest democracy into a blog post, could I?

As for myself, I have grown up in a BJP supporting family. And for many years I agreed with them that they were the better choice. Indeed, even now they preach of grassroots level development of the nation, which is far better than the more glitzy approach of the Congress. A uniform civil code for all, regardless of religion would be most welcome in a country that purports itself to be SECULAR! That’s why I was so much in favour with them and a number of the Hindu nationalist parties that they support (but not quite all of them). Until the day the façade cracked…

I make it out like there was one decisive factor that caused all this, it wasn’t quite like that. Firstly I remember how when the BJP were in power they never rehoused the deposed Kashmiri pandits, something which pretty much every Hindu nationalist wants. You’re in power, yet they’re still in camps. You ought to look up ‘hypocrisy’! Fast forward to now; the Congress are at an all time low in popularity. There have been a string of terrorist attacks in major cities over the course of the last 2 years or so (something which was suspiciously infrequent under the BJP. Funny that, considering the apparently anti-Muslim party they are said to be…). In addition to this some of you will be aware of the harrowing events by which the Delhi police, that can’t stop all the rapists and thieves in the city but sweep down on Baba Ramdev’s peaceful protest against black money (which I suppose all politicians in India are guilty of) like the corrupt vultures they are. Despite all of this, the BJP have not acted upon it. Infighting, weak exposure of Congress ineptitude and lack of coherent leadership have all played a part in this. Plus they haven’t done enough to shift their anti-anyone-that-isn’t-a-Hindu appearance, which makes them look in the eyes of many to be really backward. So the Indians have a choice between the corrupt evil party or an incompetent party of bigots. Ah, the agony of selection…

I suppose I better expand on Hindu nationalism now before the cataclysm of brain dead comments come in about how I’m intolerant start. Regardless of what it has become Hindutva was about ensuring that the nation where Dharmic thought began can maintain its heritage. Plus, if anyone was to actually pick up the Rig Veda or the Gita you’d see very quickly just how humanist those texts are. Heck, did you know that Sarvarkar himself was an atheist? A Hindu nation would be more secular than most actually secular nations currently, like, for example, INDIA! I know I’ve already said it once but if a Muslim lives and abides by one set of rules and a Hindu by another, in what way is that secular? It isn’t, it’s communal. More than that it’s separatist. It only serves to breed more contempt.

But as I said before I’ve become increasingly disillusioned with the Hindu parties too. There’s two reasons for that. Firstly, they’re all full of hot air. They talk the big talk about how the poor Kashmiris are suffering and how the country is run by an Italian (more on that later that’s why I’m not touching on it now) again and again and again but doing nothing about it. Second, the bizarre fatwa-esque movements they go on. I don’t mean protests about Lord Ram on sandals or Lakshmi on a bikini (I’m on the fence with that). I’m talking about torching cinemas because they showed a film about lesbian themes. I’m talking about the rampant hatred of Valentine’s day. It’s just not the way we do things, people!

This is usually the point where some sappy hippy-like Hindu would say about how ahimsa (non-violence) is the pillar of our faith. NO IT ISN’T! Well, I can say with certainty that in the Gandhi sense it isn’t. There is a time for action when your values are threatened, but the response needs to be calculated and precise (like in the great text Mahabharata, remember that??). Modern and progressive thoughts were how Hinduism first came into being so if you hate everything that comes from the west or isn’t quite like it was when you grew up, there’s no progress, there’s no new thought. I can’t think of anything more anti-Hindu than that. You deserve all that hate mail you get on the 14^th of February for that reason! Stop rioting all the time, it doesn’t help anyone!

So what do I do? Supporting the Congress-like principles is to turn a blind eye to the cultural and moral damage that the nation and Dharma is going through but to stick with the right wing ideology is a form of paralysis is just as bad. That’s why I picked the title ‘choosing between hate’, because that is what it feels like. I’m not sure exactly where that leaves me now, to be frank. All I can do is make the right choice when adversity is in front of me. Otherwise I’m going to fall into the trap of fear that has gripped so many of the Hindu samaj. Pick your battles, that’s what it is at the end of the day. What more can be said? If wanting your Dharma to survive is bigotry in someone’s eyes, they need a different perspective. And if embracing a few new ideas is turning your back on your culture, then, again, try looking at it in a different way before you judge or decide. It’s not quite so clear cut. Till then, I’ll try to stay sane in the face of all this ambiguity and stupidity.

Regards

The Vedic Underdog