The English disease of Indians (Or, what the heck are you talking about??)

Ah English. I can’t think of another language that I both love and hate so much as it. On the one hand it has a richness of words which is almost unparalleled in other languages, what with readily introducing foreign words into the lexicon and then (most importantly) making them its own. A feat other languages should be jealous of. But then I am also quite loath of it. For it becoming the international language it is seeping into all the other languages, and Anglophone customs, good or bad, are becoming the norm. I know of no nation where this is happening more astutely than India, where, in my opinion, it is a disease in the minds of the Indian people, and something really needs to be done.

Now I make bold statements I know, but I am fully prepared to back them up. So here I go with that. First of all English gives way to a lot of arrogance. The embarrassment of the stereotype of the loud British or American tourist talking loudly at locals and then getting angry when they don’t understand them is part of this. But then you have pseudo Anglophone states where similar things happen. English is an unfortunate status symbol in India, but what makes it even worse is the local arrogance of the people. They assume themselves to be fluent (they can usually speak it well but they’re not fluent, get that through your thick skulls!) and so when they come to England for instance and speak in their thick accent with some archaic colonial vocabulary or (worse still) local slang and no one can understand, they are shocked that no one can understand.

Heck, I actually remember someone from Delhi saying ‘these English people don’t know how to speak English.’ You’re having me on, right, the nation where the language was born can’t speak the language it created properly? No, it’s your ego that is the incomprehensible entity here! It’s such an ego that is the hindrance of any Indian that goes abroad to study: they push their own ridiculous form of English on everyone, so no one understands, and will not take any corrections and so in the end they can’t speak to anyone other than themselves. Lessons would be accepting weakness so no one takes them. Result: no one has a clue what anyone is saying. Well done, spectacular own goal.

So English and its status symbol go much further than that. I remember once taking a train in Germany and seeing some Indians on the train (not something that is very common there) and sat next to them. We started chatting in Hindi about everything and nothing as you do. After a while one of them asked me where I was from. I mentioned the origin of my parents but that we had come from the UK. It was at that stage that he said in a think Indian accent ‘Oh, you are tourists from UniTid Kinggdomm?’ and henceforth no matter how much I spoke in Hindi all my responses were in English. It was almost as though the half an hour of dialogue had not occurred at all. Cue me trying to decipher what he’s saying even though it would be infinitely easier to switch to the language we both grew up speaking.

It’s not just the speaking that can be irritating, it’s also the ideas that come with the language. Because everyone speaks English over there sitcoms can be broadcast without any real alterations. And so you get the mindless stream of debauchery, promiscuity and vulgarity that is seen here all the time over here. Now because we see it all the time we realise that it’s sad and pathetic but over there because of the association of English with intelligence and money, the impressionable Indian youth think that this is all the West is about and that this is how to act and conduct your life in order to get ahead. This leads to young men thinking of women as objects of their pleasures (and that number of partners = manliness) and the youth in general that swearwords are the cooler than Jimi Hendrix shimmying across space playing the wildest version of Voodoo Chile ever. OK, I had to stop the rantiness for a second.

So if you ever meet the really rich young people of India that grew up in the really fancy houses, you quickly realise how the f word is every other punctuation. It’s a vile sound that does them no favours with anyone but themselves. On the promiscuity front I remember my father once telling bout how one night he was sat with some friends who were telling him about how fortunate he was to be ‘surrounded by British women’ who will ‘take their clothes off for any reason’. Sickening. But I suppose that was more to do with a number of things.

Anywho the major point is in the name of English, India is being robbed of so many things, much more than she is gaining. I remember recently seeing the tagline for MTV India which was ‘the channel your mother warned you about.’ If it was British or American I would have probably chuckled because it fits in with the culture here but it’s such a powerfully non-Indian statement, a nation where the mother is to be revered (at least that’s the theory!). And so I can’t really say that English benefits. Now you could argue that it’s helped the economy what with foreign companies outsourcing. One of those exports has been call centres. But remember about the English no one can understand? That’s right, they’re moving them BACK for that reason. What an own goal, India. So what are we left with? A bunch of people who speak a European language in their own way, a manner which means no one can understand them, no outsourcing coming and barrel of rotten western philosophies (it’s amazing how ideas such as stoicism haven’t become prominent, I just don’t get it).

Not to mention how English is used in the midst of Indian languages indiscriminately, there’s no organic evolution like there was with (ironically) English, it’s like bashing two jigsaw pieces together that don’t fit. I have to use more English when I speak Hindi with Indians, particularly the young ones, cos no one understands me when I speak it purer as I do at home!

In ’47 a nation apparently became free of centuries of oppression. But choosing English paved the way for another form. I can already see the tide of South Indian hate with even the mention of Hindi as the state language. Don’t worry I’m not saying that. I just can’t believe that a nation of that size, that could have contributed so richly to the world culturally meekly chose to continue using a colonial language when they could have had a fresh start. And what language should they have chosen I hear you ask…?

SANSKRIT!!! A young nation could have revived an old language just like Israel revived Hebrew (I’m not going to go into the politics about the state but that’s an achievement, regardless). It would have been a golden opportunity for the country to learn about its ancient precolonial past, recover literature and philosophies that had remained dead and buried for so long. Some of you will also know that Chinese is a UN language. Sanskrit had every chance of getting such a status, and then maybe the world would have known a lot more about yoga, science, philosophy and a lot more besides.

But they gave the status meekly to English. And now all languages are doomed. Yipee

Regards

The Vedic Underdog

Where *am* I from?

This post is for all you mixed culture people. And I don’t mean those of you that are half this, quarter that and one 500th something else (unless you’re close to all those roots), I mean people who are quite literally between cultures within themselves (i.e. not simply through genetics).

I shall open with some central European humour. A Hungarian is drinking from a lake. A Slovak sees this and yells in Slovakian: ‘Stop! Don’t drink from the lake, the water is poisonous.’ On hearing the shouting the Hungarian stops drinking and asks the man (in Hungarian) what he just said, to which the Slovak replies ‘Oh, I just said that the water is cold, so drink slowly.’

Yes, I’m sure you’re splitting your sides to that one. But this joke was told to me by someone who is between cultures himself, an ethnic Hungarian living in Slovakia. This is common; apparently, Hungarians are the biggest ethnic minority in a number of central European nations. And being of one ethnicity living in a country with a different one has had its effect on him. ‘To the Slovaks I’m a dirty Hungarian, and to the Hungarians I’m a dirty Slovak. And somewhere between the two is me’, is what he had to say of it. And whilst I can not complain to have had someone describe me this bluntly, my own experiences aren’t so far off.

I’ve grown up as an ethnic Indian in the United Kingdom and by the grace of my parents been well versed in the language, culture and customs of the land of our origins. Whilst that has had many, many advantages, there have, unfortunately, been a number of issues with it too.

Don’t get me wrong, for the most part it’s great. I am equally comfortable in either country because I speak both languages fluently. Most of the time in India people can’t tell I’m from abroad. Their arrogance leads them to say they can tell when they do know, but 99.9% of the time on the street etc they haven’t a clue. Most of the time I don’t like to bring it up; I remember catching a train once with my cousin, sitting down and chatting for a while with him and the passengers after which he divulged I was not from India, something which irritated me but did lead the passengers to praise my grasp of the language, saying that they would not have known unless told that I was from elsewhere (which was a turn up for the books).

But it has also been a hindrance too. It does make it difficult internally for you to decide upon an identity when you’re slap bang in the middle of the two cultures. This does not necessarily happen if you are of one ethnicity living in a country with a different one. Often, people fall into two camps; either they spend all of their time with their own community and don’t integrate at all with the rest of society or they completely embrace the host nation, losing any heritage or cultural integrity, both of which are more harmful than taking the middle ground, as both indicate either fear (of losing or gaining something culturally) or all round discomfort of some aspect of the life you have. What’s happened with me is I’ve straddled the two, trying to take in the good aspects of both ways of life to enrich myself. But by doing so you have to be prepared for the pitfalls.
For starters people can’t put their finger on you (because many need to put people in boxes for them to make sense of you). As a result they approach you differently. Some Indians, particularly the younger ones, are intimidated by me. They find my straddling terrifying. As a defence mechanism they try and put the country I live in down, or they their inferiority complex makes them show off. They will speak to me in English (even when there is no need to do so) and then correct me when I speak Hindi for the most minor of faults (there was one time when I was told that ‘namaskar’ should not be used after noon. This is not true at all, and was nothing other than a display of arrogance). This is described in more detail in the English disease of Indians.

In the UK, almost instantly after hearing that my roots are from abroad, everyone immediately thinks I have an Indian accent (one that I didn’t have the second before I told them). I have lost count of the number of times white people have told me that my English is very good. Well, of course it’s good, you morons, I’m a native speaker!

Then there is the stigma of introducing yourself. It’s nearly impossible to get right; if I go for the ‘I’m British’ route and say nothing else, I am accused of not respecting my origins (which can lose you a lot of respect with certain people) or you can go for the ‘I’m Indian in origins’ route, which has its own problems. Firstly people may think you’re a foreigner despite the British accent and treat you differently but it’s also used as an argument that descendants of immigrants have no love for the nation they grew up and therefore should leave. Yes, I’m talking about the BNP.

So there you are, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’ve learned to accept that ultimately neither nation will fully see me as just a person. I am, for those that actually like this aspect of me, a novelty, one way or the other. For the Indians, a guy who grew up in the west but can keep up with the best of them conversationally but still not quite one of them. For the Brits, another immigrant who should be mollycoddled and mocked because his parents came from a ‘poor’ nation who has had the privilege of being ‘civilised’. Most hold their tongues and don’t actually say that last bit, but their sentiments on how things are done over there and of my religion etc give it away.

Yet, for all my anger and irritation, I am thankful for being this way. Many British people of South Asian origin tell you an anecdote about the first time they went back to the land of their parents and spoke their ancestral language broken only to be interrupted by relatives who spoke ‘the Queens English’ and so they sheepishly switched to that themselves. I can say, with great pride, that I tell the OPPOSITE story; my relatives, assuming that I couldn’t even say hello in the language start with English only to receive a response in perfect Hindi, after which we sheepishly switch to the local language. The feeling is wonderful and I have to thank my parents profoundly for the gift they give me. Another time one of my cousins who grew up abroad asked me if we were told by our relatives in India that we spoke English too fast, to which I responded ‘We never spoke in English so we never found out.’

We straddlers have an important role to play in the development of the modern world; to help the melding of different customs and ideals of the world.
Multiculturalism is a beautiful thing when done correctly, truly the way to advance the human race. But the balance is very important. If you surrender yourself and your roots to your surroundings, you’re merely assimilating and there’s no exchange, just capitulation. If a few individuals, in whatever form, keep that culture preserved then they give a beautiful resource to the rest of the world, which the world can tap into in its purest form at any time. That needs to survive in assimilation. Otherwise you get a ‘melting pot’ that is of no use to anyone.

I felt this most astutely in my travels to the US, arguably the biggest melting pot of all. For me, it’s a bit of a graveyard of cultures. So many Germans immigrated there but the American ‘pretzel’ is horrific and bland, nothing like the noble ‘bretzel’ you get in Germany. Not to mention all the other food that’s been changed beyond repair *shudders*. On top of that, so many people over there are so keen to raise their kids ‘American’ (cos it’s the greatest somethingorother in the world apparently) they forget all about the beauty of the nation they came from. The result? You have all these people with really interesting names and interesting relatives but none of them have a clue about it. Knowing so much about the land of my fathers (and mothers), it does sadden me to think they’ll not know about that when it has enriched me so much as a person.

In short, I hate the way I am seen and some of the internal confusion that being of two cultures gives you, but I can live with it when I have gained so much. हिंदी एक बोहुत सुंदर भाषा है, और मुझे बोहुत आनंद है के मई उसकी प्रयोग कर सकता हूँ | Besides, we’re the ones that will help ensure the gems of wisdom, literature, etc from our adopted nation are passed on in the future. But we’re also open to other experiences, other ideals too. And that isn’t celebrated nearly as much as it should be!
So what am I? I am a person, first and foremost. But if you need classification, I’m British Indian (or Indian British if you prefer). In every sense of the word.
I may not fit in, but who cares? I’ll be at the crossroads of true progress one way or the other. Suck it, Griffin and Cameron!

Regards,

नमस्कार

The Vedic underdog
वेदों का व्यक्ति

What makes punya, action or intent? (Or, the pious are the most sinful)

First off the bat I should explain the meaning of punya. It’s a Sanskrit word for a good deed, and can be employed as a word to describe an action that is the opposite of sin. There doesn’t appear to be an English equivalent better than ‘virtue’ which is why I’ve decided to use this word, it’s far more apt.

I’ve been thinking about whether the action or the intent behind an action is the most important thing for doing punya recently. I’ll try to have a look at both personal and philosophical perspectives on it. So my first example: a guy joins a charitable organisation because he has a crush on a girl who volunteers for them. As part of his courtship dance he does his utmost for the charity and in doing so helps a lot of people. Whether he feels satisfaction or not from the actions is not necessarily important; is he a good person for doing the action or a bad one for giving in to his lust/desire/insert intellectual word for fancying here and changing the way he acts and does things? Personally I have to go for the former. At the very least him helping other people enriches their lives and leads them to want to help others or enrich others potentially. How can that possibly be bad? This is something that the Hindu laws of Karma also describe but I’ll get back to that later.

A more personal example would be me taking up vegetarianism. I initially did it because I was angry with the sheer ignorance of a group of meat eaters telling me how abstaining from meat is not only unnatural but morally wrong. That’s right; not wanting to kill an animal makes you a bad person. And on that whim I started. But when I read more about it, the health and environmental benefits of it (they’re real, you’re in denial if you think there aren’t), I realised it was a good choice with far more (positive) repercussions than the initial reasons that led me to this decision. And so to this day I have stuck with it.

Now for a Hindu example. Don’t cringe, I’m talking about mythological stories if the word ‘religion’ presses your cider (have a look at burden of the pious if you are offended). A thief dressed up as a priest because a king was looking for a noble pious man to marry his daughter (and he wanted the riches that came with that). Once he had dressed up and began to mingle, he was truly touched by the warmth and kindness he witness amongst these holy men, and he himself was transformed into a moral person by the experience. I’m not sure whether he got the girl but the important point is he managed to turn his life around from that moment on. Another example of action trumping intent.

With these examples I’m inclined to think that the actions one does seem to be more important that the reason behind them. Which is why I do believe in doing your duty, even if I don’t always manage to do so.

A slight deviation now: from personal experiences it does appear that pious people are more capable of sin than their less pious counterparts. On the surface this may seem ridiculous but when you think about it, who would know better about what wrong actions are’ than a pious person? Indeed they have an understanding of punya, but I’ve described with examples how that is meaningless. After all if you have all this pious knowledge and keep it to yourself and sit at home thinking about how lovely and pious you are, who does that help? No one, bar perhaps your ego getting a mild boost. It pains me to write that, for perhaps I am in that bracket. I am trying to spread the good vibes around though, honest. It remains to see what happens though from it.

I can think of a fourth anecdote that illustrates this principle above. Some time ago I was talking to a friend of mine, who is of the Hindu fold as I am but not as well versed. He enjoys alcohol and cigarettes and the all round debauchery that is often accused for corrupting Hindu youth and leading them astray. Despite this, he is always good humoured and loyal, always willing to help someone in need out if he can. He has brought joy into many lives. Yet, he says ‘I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell.’ Well first I corrected him, saying that ‘hell’ does not really exist in our philosophies (atheists just grit your teeth and get through this, it really isn’t that bad) and secondly that the universe operates on karma, with each action having an equal and opposite reaction. So, if you’ve done good things, there will be repercussions that are good from it. The opposite can be said for bad actions. At the end of the day these are weighed up and that is what really dictates how you progress in life (note that: I said IN this life, the afterlife is of no consequence to this).

This reminds me of some words of advice an ancient Egyptian gave to humanity: ‘do not worry too much about the afterlife, make THIS life your afterlife, THIS life your heaven.’ To get there, how ever you do it, you’ll need to give out good vibrations. It’s not just me that says that, top researchers do too. A Dr Gruber wrote in a recent article in the association for psychological sciences that ‘the strongest predictor of happiness is not money, or external recognition through success or fame,” Gruber says. “It’s having meaningful social relationships.” That means the best way to increase your happiness is to stop worrying about being happy and instead divert your energy to nurturing the social bonds you have with other people. “If there’s one thing you’re going to focus on, focus on that. Let all the rest come as it will.’

And with that thought combined with my two pennies on the matter (if you cared) I leave you

Regards

The Vedic Underdog

The danger of youth (or our time is always running out)

I have started a number of things later on in life than usual. Learning languages and instruments are examples of these. This is counterbalanced with a number of things I started at a very young age such as science and history. So in many ways I could write a testimonial to the adage ‘never too early, never too late’. But despite this, I’m actually writing the complete opposite. I’ll do my best to avoid the clichéd ‘life is short’ as much as I can but it shall be hard no doubt.

So what leads me to say this? Well, our youth driven society and the music performers I hang out with. A combination of the two has led me to this conclusion. That and the strange age I’m at where I’m neither particularly old nor the youngest of the young (OK, I suppose I am a bit more on the young side but still) and so you have the Indian brigade telling you to knuckle down and find a bride (cos you’re reaching that age) and the Anglo brigade to take it easy and take as long as you need to find someone you really connect with, and you have time to do that, you know, cos you’re young (apparently).

And so what do you take from that? You should go out and enjoy things in life, cos you’re young and still able-bodied to do so. If you're good at music and still youthful, squeeze as much as you can out of it before you're seen as being too old, which happens too often in this world.

But youth is often used as a reason not to do something. A popular saying amongst people my age and younger is ‘we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it’ for any number of situations i.e. not wanting to take responsibility for something and just enjoying it in an (almost) mindless fashion. And so many indulge (and indeed overindulge because hedonism is the only way, which I will discuss later on) and not think of any consequences. At all. It’s not as though you have to have every aspect of your life planned out because that would be almost as detrimental but there must be some middle ground. A moment thought about the consequences of doing something is a moment that can lead to maintained enjoyment of something. Just the right amount of indulgence of any number of things ensures your health will remain at a good enough level for you to enjoy it for many years to come. A tad preachy but remember that the man who doesn’t take time for his health in his youth will most definitely have to take time for his illness in old age.

But hedonism is, if anything, a digression from what I really wanted to say. Too many things are put off by all of us because we’re worried about the time not being quite right. And thoughts like that are poisonous to all of us getting the most out of ourselves, enjoying life to the fullest and making a difference around us (something which can ALL do, really) because it’s a shackle that stops us from flying high and free. Just do what you in your heart of hearts you know will make things better and give you a more wholesome existence. The time will never be better than right now.

I have a friend who has no qualms in getting drunk on a night out because life doesn’t really matter and so he’ll enjoy that but ends up depressed because life doesn’t really matter and he doesn’t feel like anyone will remember him when he’s gone. What a double edged sword he does hold. That is the kind of overthinking that can lead us to squander our time in thinking if we really are good enough for something or not rather than actually doing something, which is the truest indicator of all.

This entry may seem rambly, but below lies the take – home point:

‘Learn like you’re going to live forever. Live like you’re going to die tomorrow’.

Prudence and impulse are unlikely bedfellows

Regards

The Vedic Underdog